itchymoto: (bitch mode)
[personal profile] itchymoto
After going so long without writing up a journal entry it feels weird to try and do one again, and I gotta say…I do feel less like wanting to talk about my life than I did back then since things feel so much crappier nowadays. XD

Like…I don’t want to go into too much detail about this place because it’s just embarrassing and frustrating to talk about, and I’m pretty ashamed of how I live. lol
It’s like an episode of Hoarders here…not because I have huge mountains of shit lying around, but more like what the places look like after everything starts being cleared out. And also just the general depressed/hopeless mood there is about living somewhere where everything’s old and falling apart/broken, and having to find ways of working around it or just dealing with it. :/ The stove/oven hasn’t worked in a long time since the propane it ran on isn’t being refilled anymore (the tank is SO heavy and hard to move and was also expensive to fill, and there was a leak somewhere in the line so it was just…given up on at around the same time the shitty shower broke) and the kitchen is tiny and crappy and there’s no counter space….so all I eat is pre-made shit, microwaveable food (soup, ravioli, TV dinners, burritos, etc) and “snack/junk food.” And this is why I go out to eat so often. XD

Whenever we move (whenever that is 🙄) I’m looking forward to balancing out the junk food a lot more and eating better stuff…as well as trying to actually cook things! (I so desperately want and look forward to trying to cook! I never did much while the stove still worked, and I really want to now. ;_;)

My internet keeps going out a lot lately and has also been going pretty slow, so there’s that too. :/ Last night it was out and didn’t come back for like 10 hours. 😖 This internet company is complete shit and I see nothing but people having similar complaints about all this, and how all our data so quickly and mysteriously runs out even when it’s not being used, and I’m also looking forward to the day I can cancel this shit, too.

LOL, well now that ALLLL of that bitching is out of the way (jfc, sorry about all that XD)…IDK, sometimes I feel like putting some of my writing online (and this would be a good place to put it!) but I’m embarrassed about that too since 1.) I’m gross and a lot of it is dirty, 2.) it’s just a bunch of Luca/Mac stuff anyway XD, and 3.) I’m REALLY not confident in my writing skill at ALL and I think it’s terrible. 👎 So far the BF is the only one who reads any of it, and he tries to tell me that it’s not bad, but well…I know he doesn’t read very much (nor do I) so it’s not like there’s much to compare it to, so his standards aren’t very high. XD I guess I’ll just have to think about it. :/

Date: 2017-04-14 01:51 pm (UTC)
beed: (cony ominous)
From: [personal profile] beed
i kind of know what you mean about not wanting to write since things seem more grim, but its really nice that you wrote this time! like i'm always saying in the emails, its always nice to hear from and about you, and on these journals its much more catered to being introspective instead of putting this out for one specific person (or for people in general) so i feel more things might come out than normal. which to me, is a good thing... even if the subjects themselves aren't so good. (nods)

oh man, Itchy, I don't blame u at all for being so upset about your living situation. D: hearing about how even the stove is broken on top of the plumbing that you were talking about in the email just frustrates me so much, i feel so helpless! i can't even fathom how you feel. (BIG HUG)
i will say that i can only imagine the burning passion you have toward wanting to cook, especially since it's out of reach. that just means when you get to cook it's gonna be awesome and full of love and passion, good times are ahead. XD

i think i would lose my damn mind if my internet was out for 10 hours so i have to say, you are badass and powerful for handling it. ;; i fucking hate data and as soon as i could, just cancelled my smartphone data plan and bought a 40 dollar flip phone with a $10 a month plan lol. the only downside is that you have to be connected to wifi to use the smartphone still, so that blows. but, using the smartphone with the data is WAY less annoying than spending all that money a month for it to hardly work or whatever. -_- and it's always like it mysteriously drains, and nobody ever has any explanations. maddening stuff.

AND YOU MUST PUT YOUR STORIES ONLINE!!! (shakes you) i so want to read it. i may not be the most understanding about the subject matter (only cos i didnt finish fo4 oops) but i love all of your creative endeavors and i'm sure i'll love this. but i also know how you feel about not really wanting to put yourself on the spot like that, so, no pressure from me... even though what i just wrote sounds suspiciously pressuring. LOL im just so excited!!


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