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[personal profile] itchymoto
Eh, I haven't really felt like talking about anything in my life, and I never even ended up talking much about my trip, lol. (I had a draft started here, but I just deleted it because it was bitchy and outdated since I started it like at least a week ago. XD)  But the Sabaton concert was really cool (Joakim seemed so happy and it was really cute, I love it XD), and I was so glad to be able to get a new shirt since my other ones had all worn out. And as for Vegas...it was mostly really fun too, but I just wish it had been more...productive as far as trying to fucking move over there goes.

I don't want to get into it because he already knows how I feel and it should probably just be between us, but....I'll just say that I expected my BF to have been more organized about all this like he made me feel like he was, and that he had actual, like, plans...instead of us just going there and dicking around most of the time like it's a regular vacation. (Not that I didn't totally go all in and enjoy way too many of those free casino drinks, pfft. XD)

On the Sunday we were there though we did spend pretty much all day looking at a bunch of houses (just driving by, not actually getting to go inside though) to see what the neighborhoods looked like and what the houses in our price range looked like, which I guess was something we kind of did need to do before we make appointments to look inside them. At least that's how I feel about it anyway...I would feel weird about it if we set up an appointment to check out a house and then regretted making everyone go through all the trouble when I didn't like how it looked on the outside. XD IDK, I've never done any of this shit before, neither of us have, and I don't know if we're going about it all wrong or if other people are usually more organized than this. Moving to a different state is especially hard since it involves so much driving back and forth, and I feel pressured to get things done and make decisions faster than if we were just moving to a place nearby...which stresses me out since they're BIG decisions. :/

But, anyway...most of the houses looked really nice...like, I was surprised they were ones we would be able to afford! Though I guess I'm just used to living in California where all the houses are too expensive and cost like three times as much. And, as weird as it sounds, some of the neighborhoods felt so familiar, even though we had never been there before...like, they just look really similar to a lot of places around here, and we both really liked that. :D So we pretty much have a plan now of which specific parts of the Vegas area we like and are getting things set up to check things out for real in a couple weeks or so. As in, going inside them and trying to pick something out. (So, yeah, I'm gonna be leaving for another weekend again eventually!)

I feel weird talking about this kind of stuff because I can't remember what I've even already talked about, so I don't know if this all sounds like it's coming out of the blue like "oh, hey, btw, we're moving!" and there's also still a lot of things we have to plan anyway, so I mostly would rather talk more when things are more set in stone. :x

And now on to me bitching about art stuff. XD

I know I already talked about this...but I'm still worried af about the next big comic I have coming up, even though I'm also excited about working on it. :/ I just...since it takes place during the Vietnam War (and anything to do with war is some dark/sensitive subject matter) I cannot help but be terrified that I'm going to inadvertently offend someone with it. I know there are TONS of movies/shows/books/etc that take place during war times, and I also think tumblr got me fucked up thinking that everyone in the world is super sensitive and it's probably not as bad as I think, but still...:/ I will say that the way I'm doing the comic it's definitely MUCH more about the characters in them than what's going on around them, but of course that stuff will come into play, too.

And aside from worrying about all that, I'm also worried that people aren't going to like it or even want to read it, and considering how much work I'm gonna be putting into it it's going to break my heart only getting 2-3 notes on the pages. :( Like I told my BF, Rebel Rebel is the only comic a "decent" amount of people ever read, and Yoshi is the only OC of mine that a decent amount of people have told me they liked, and I feel like a failure as both an OC creator and a story teller since it's so hard ever getting people interested in anything else I do. :/

And I know, and he tells me all the time, that I shouldn't worry so much about what other people think and just enjoy drawing...and I always do up until the moment I post it and start stressing over whether people will like it or not. :x 

IDK...whether people like them or not I will always love my OCs and love drawing them, and I know there are always gonna be a few people who are interested in seeing what I've drawn too, (and bless them all for that!! ❤️) so nothing's going to stop me from doing what I want to do. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like I can stop myself from feeling embarrassed and disappointed when I don't get much attention either, though. :/

I still want to get some other things done and work some stuff out before I even start on this comic, and of course, I need to put out another page of Rebel Rebel soon, too. XD

Date: 2017-06-01 04:17 pm (UTC)
beed: (WB decadent)
From: [personal profile] beed
aaaa i'm glad you did write even though you haven't felt like it, it's nice to hear what's going on! :0 ♥ And HAS IT ALREADY BEEN THAT LONG SINCE YOUR TRIP?! man, my sense of time is all out of whack lately. I didn't even go and it felt like it was only yesterday bahahhaaha. I'm so glad you had a good time (beyond the lack of productivity, anyhoo! ;; )

And man, I know that relationships SHOULD be private but I just want to say, sometimes Mike is the same way (re: saying he's got good plans but they're........ not......) so YOU'RE NOT ALONE! smh at Justin (he's still a good egg, though! XD) but I guess that sort of thing is pretty overwhelming, idk idk. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE i am super excited to hear that y'all are starting to take HUGE steps toward owning a home, that made me so excited to hear!!! ♥o♥
and if you ever want house-hunting/moving advice feel free to hmu because i've done it a few times-- i don't think there's any right way tbh, but i sure know how it feels to think you're missing something. i don't want to step on your toes though, so i'll just put that offer on the table and you can ask if you want, no worries!

dude, i never even considered worrying about viewership when you get this new comic rolling ;; i was like you, and considering how to make sure you don't piss anyone off for the subject matter. arghhhhh no wonder you're so worried about this one!! i'm glad you'll still probably end up doing it, but i totally understand why you're getting nervous or embarrassed about putting that sort of subject matter out there. especialy when everyone online is a callous dick and can't even leave favs, comments, or reblogs or whatever. T_T it's REALLY hard to be okay with that shit, as always. but on the other end of things, i'm really grateful that you're still drawing and posting all your stuff for us to see. ;w; such a tough subject, damn.

omg and also on that topic, idk why but it bugs me that most of your casual viewers/watchers are obsessed with Rebel Rebel+Yoshi only? like wtf? i still dont get it, beyond the comic being really fun and immersive, it seems like some of these ppl only focus on appearances?! and i can totally see why that makes u feel so negatively, consider i'm over here getting aggravated just thinking about it from a fan perspective. ;_; like why would anyone want to limit themself to seeing and enjoying one small niche of a huge body of work? i just. I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS ABOUT BEING INTO YOUR WORK and it drives me up the wall knowing ppl are just like "i like yoshi bc he's cute bluuuuu" like THAT'S IT?! (shakes fist) DAMN they're right but there's MORE THAN THAT. wth.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, i was just, yknow, casually looking through your TH for the millionth time, and noticed the new updates to some of ur bbs pages and AAAAAAAAA ALL THE LITTLE DRAWINGS JUST ABOUT KILLED ME-- they're all so cute and charming and cool all at once...!!! and when I saw gabes 'theme' I totally made noises irl and said DESPERADO IS HIS THEME?! and then laughed and clapped. so. that's my life. XDDDD totally and hopelessly dedicated to your boos. ♥

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